August 2, 2005

Air passenger offenses.

Here's a piece about annoying people on planes. Yeah, I know it's the cliché topic for standup comedians, but a couple things. First, those DVD players:
"You wouldn't believe what people watch," said Mimi Rodriguez, a flight attendant with America West. She says it is not uncommon for people to watch pornography on board; if a passenger complains, she asks the offending party to step into the galley and tells him that his film choice is making some fellow travelers uncomfortable.

"But it's not a violation of regulations," she says. "We usually ask them to turn it off or turn the screen so it can't be seen." Most comply, she adds.
If I was sitting next to some guy who was watching pornography, his just turning the screen so I couldn't see it wouldn't be quite enough. I'd still be ... sitting next to a guy who is watching pornography.

Then there's the food:
If assaults on fliers' eyes and ears are increasing, so are attacks on their noses. Strongly aromatic foods like the Korean dish kimchi can really stink up a cabin, she says. So can less exotic fare, like hard-boiled eggs.
Yes, eggs, cold eggs. You know how I feel about that.

17 comments:

goesh said...

- and to think you have never mixed some salt, pepper and hot sauce and put it in a bowl, grabbed a hard-boiled egg from the fridge, gave it a quick rap on your skull to crack it, then peeled it and started dipping - how many ways can one spell culinary deprivation?

Contributors said...

"I'd still be ... sitting next to a guy who is watching pornography."

LOL. If I were a comedian, I'd steal that line.

Frank from Delavan said...

Forget that stuff. From personal experience:

What's worse than a San Jose to Chicago flight with a year-old baby one row back who's cranky as he** because of the ears, etc and cries continually?

A flight with TWO year-old babies, one and two rows back.

Unknown said...

What's worse than a San Jose to Chicago flight with a year-old baby one row back who's cranky as he** because of the ears, etc and cries continually?

Two things: the guy next to you watching porn, and the guy two rows ahead who thinks babies in pain are more deserving of his dirty glances and loud sighs than guys watching porn.

Ron said...

In the great baseball book Ball Four, then Houston Astro third baseman Doug Rader also doesn't like eggs:

"I don't know why people get so excited about something that comes out of a chickens ass."

NotClauswitz said...

My wife likes to chew gum to equalize her ears during takeoff and landing - we chose to avoid the Black-Jack licorice flavor gum, there's enough weird smells onboard a plane.

Kev said...

During my freshman year of college, my mother mailed me an Easter basket. It was a nice gesture, but she included the Easter eggs--that's right, hard-boiled eggs, unrefrigerated, mailed from Houston to near Dallas (about a two-day trip) and sitting in the post office for another day before I retrieved the package. Needless to say, it smelled like something died when I opened up the box.

purple_kangaroo said...

Bill, thanks for the info. on hard-cooked eggs.

Since they were in ice water, the eggs weren't actually at room temperature for 6 hours. I threw away the cracked ones and my DH (who has a stomach of iron) happily ate the rest with no ill effects.

purple_kangaroo said...

You know, I'd be really upset if someone on the plane was watching porn where children could see it and the flight crew wouldn't make them turn it off. Watching porn may not be a legal offense, but exposing children to it is.

Bruce Hayden said...

Airlines used to provide you with food. They don't anymore, or at least not domestically unless you are in first class.

So, if it is around mealtime, I will typically pick up something to eat on the plane. Normally, a hamburger. It might offend a vegitarian, but, in my experience, jelousy is a more normal response to the smell.

Unknown said...

I feel a certain sense of pity for anyone who can just sit there and watch pornography in a relatively passive manner. That is, if it doesn't make someone squirm with arousal or discomfort, what does that say about that person?

Freeman Hunt said...

How about sitting next to a five year old girl and her mother, and the five year old wets her pants in the seat before the plane takes off? (Happened two months ago.)

That pornography thing is really weird. I think I would have to say something. "Excuse me. You're watching pornography? Really? Don't you think that's a strange thing to do on a plane?" Or I'd just request to change seats.

Unknown said...

Well, how about someone who had to sit next to two unsupervised young kids, 5 and 7 years old, and one of them sneezes chewed peanuts all over the place.

Oh, wait. I was the 7 year old. :) But I blame the peanuts on my brother.

The woman was a saint.

chuck b. said...

I thought porn on planes was kind of an institution. Why else do airport kiosks sell so many varieties of it?

Discretion is a vanishing virtue.

Unknown said...

I've actually never seen someone read or view porn in an airport lounge or on a flight. I have always assumed that the porn purchased in airports was meant for consumption at the destination.

SWBarns said...

I've got the winner.

Sitting on the tarmack for three hours in an 85 degree airplane. Having the woman behind you open a can of Spam and the guy next to you puke because of the smell.

Freeman Hunt said...

Definitely the winner.