July 15, 2015

"Lenny is your over sharing Internet friend who will yell at you about your finances, help you choose a bathing suit, lamp, president ... AND tell you what to do if you need an abortion."

From the mission statement of the new Lena-Dunham-related newsletter experience.

The word "experience" there is an artifact of cutting-and-pasting from a New York Magazine article, "Lena Dunham Tries to Cement Her Guru Status," that begins "The Lena Dunham experience is getting another brand extension...."

The Lena Dunham Experience... is it like the Jimi Hendrix Experience?
I know, I know, you'll probably scream n' cry
That your little world won't let you go
But who in your measly little world are trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and can't be sold
So, are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced? Well, I have...
I doubt if the subscribers to Lena Dunham's newsletter are being invited out of their "measly little world." The mission statement is an offer to be your friend and to fit right into your little world, where you're doing your usual things, buying clothes and decorating your apartment, figuring out how to vote, and keeping your finances and your body from acquiring the power to drag you — perhaps screaming and crying — out of that nice little world of yours that it would be mean to call "measly" and "little." Come on, let's buy a bathing suit!

And so, another female entertainment celebrity branches into the women's magazine business. It's like Oprah's magazine and Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop, right? Or does Dunham not want that spin, not want to be thought of as Gwyneth-y?
“We don't see Lenny as the anti-Goop, even though we realize that our readers may not have the same income in their lives,” Dunham said. 
And Dunham's partner in the Lenny project, Jenni Konner, said: “We worship Gwyneth. She has literally been the most supportive person of this project of anyone we've spoken to.”

We worship Gwyneth. 

How exactly does one do that? Is it anything like watching the sun rise from the bottom of the sea?

41 comments:

SGT Ted said...

She seems to think the sun shines out her ass, doesn't she?

She's a plucky little narcissist, that's for sure.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

...AND tell you what to do if you need an abortion.

I wonder if they give advice on how to haggle for the best prices on the resale market?

Chris N said...

Who says you can't do anything with a creative writing degree from Oberlin?

MadisonMan said...

"literally"

I doubt that.

madAsHell said...

Lenny, what happened to Squiggy?

Bad Lieutenant said...

Jesus, lady, it's Hendrix. James Marshall Hendrix. Please fix.

Bay Area Guy said...

Yuck. Dunham is a thoroughly unappealing young woman. But she seems to know how to promote herself and make a buck. So, I can't argue with that.

Kevin said...

Have the same income in their lives? Who the f talks like that? The destruction of the English language is one of the left's greatest crimes. Apart from that, you know, 100-120 million people killed thing.

tim in vermont said...

Isn't Hendricks Gin, not Jimmy?

But anyway, I am sure that the "vote" part is completely incidental to the whole project and in giving advice to her subscribers as to how to vote their interests best, due consideration will be given to each of her subscribers personal financial circumstances and political beliefs and the advice will consist of clear direction into how to turn that information into a vote that correctly reflects that person's beliefs and circumstances.

There is simply no way that "Lenny" is just one more extension of the Democrat party with a lot of window dressing. No way.

Kevin said...

The more I think on it the more I realize who she's really targeting. Not Gwen and Goop, but Tavi Gevinson and Rookie. Women never care about the old successful woman about to enter decrepitude, they care about the young, more beautiful one coming up behind them.

Laslo Spatula said...

Lenny will require you to work. She is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Lenny will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.

Plus: advice on lamps.

I am Laslo.

Michael said...

Lean in, women, converse. Learn. Progressive = brainy. Without the effort. Lean in a bit more.

Sebastian said...

"AND tell you what to do if you need an abortion."

Like, negotiate a cut of the sale of body parts?

JAORE said...

Advice on being JUST LIKE LENA!!!!

Can't wait.

damikesc said...

Will Lenny tell you the proper way to finger your little sister? Inquiring minds want to know.

How about how to falsely accuse somebody of rape?

tim in vermont said...

Women are brainy and "extra smart"! Just read Jezebel.

I just start talking about the patriarchy and other feminist issues. That whole — I really respect myself and have standards vibe usually scares them off. Also, I try to use as many post-modernist theory words as possible, even if it doesn't linguistically make sense. You know, to look extra smart.

Then they get to discussing an XKCD strip and we get the "math is hard!" line.

xcept when it[XKCD] starts talking about math, then it gets it confusing and incomprehensible. Probably also right, but I don't maths, so I don't know.

That comment gets five favorites and is seconded below.

But remember that these women are all "super smart"!

tim in vermont said...

I remember a line from the novel Enderby, which is a great novel by a great writer, is when Enderby, a poet who needs the money, gets a commission to write some poetry for a women's magazine. He reads some of them for the first time, and his only comment at the end is along the lines of: "There is half a day of my life gone that I will never get back."

I am sure that Lenny will be nothing like that though, it will be extra brainy!

robinintn said...

This is a quotation from a comment somewhere, sometime back, and I can't remember where I found it: [Dunham has] "No looks, no brains, the morals of a child molester and the character of a rattlesnake."

That about covers it for me.

Also, Gwyneth Paltrow is a mean, no-talent person.

tim in vermont said...

Gweneth Paltrow has a talent, looking great in front of a camera, and is a decent actress.

If you want to see somebody who has neither of these qualities in a movie, watch any movie that Madonna is in.

Every man in their lives always wants to fuck beautiful women like Paltrow, so she never gets any honest feedback on her thinking. Have some sympathy!

tim in vermont said...

Even women crave the company of beautiful women.

Titus said...

I am gaga about Goop and know I will abs be loving Lenny...can't wait!

Work it Lena-we love you!

I am really excited Lena's new site will be doing lots of stories on cisgender-very exciting.

tim in vermont said...

I am really excited Lena's new site will be doing lots of stories on cisgender-very exciting

LOL, I bet you are.

TrespassersW said...

The day I turn to Lena Dunham for advice about ANYTHING is the day you can ship me away to the Soylent Green factory.

Known Unknown said...

A newsletter? A fucking newsletter? Is she using Adobe PageMaker to publish her newsletter?

furious_a said...

Fat, homely and promiscuous is no way to go through life, girl.

Laslo Spatula said...

The perfect reading material for when you are alone in the evening in your sweatpants, eating a quart of ice cream.

I am Laslo.

Ann Althouse said...

"Jesus, lady, it's Hendrix. James Marshall Hendrix. Please fix."

Oops. Sorry. Must be drinking gin!

Ann Althouse said...

And I love the letter X.

Ann Althouse said...

Alternate argument: It was a hippie thing to deliberately misspell words for comic effect.

I Got Dem Ol' Kozmic Blues Again Mama!

SteveR said...

Lena, Gwyneth and Oprah.. A trifecta that essentially represents the emasculation of America.

Gahrie said...

Why do yet another post about this liar and child molester?

How about a post about Kathryn Steinle?

SteveR said...

How about a post about Kathryn Steinle?

Who?

Gahrie said...

@SteveR:

Well, apparently you're qualified to work in the Obama administration.

buwaya said...

Althouse is where I go to hear of things I would never have run across otherwise.
Interesting how so many parallel, rarely intersecting worlds there are.
This was always the case, to a degree, but it seems much more so these days.

There was an ideal, at one time, that one could negotiate across differences.
After all, things like physics, power, money and human nature were fundamental.
So a European aristocrat could make deals with a Chinese bureaucrat, and both were confident of a sufficiency of mutual understanding for the purpose. A classically educated Briton could even learn to use populist rhetoric on tribal Arabs.

In these cases, today, with, I suppose, the sort of people who care about whatever is in "Lenny" or "Goop", there doesn't seem to be anything at all upon which to negotiate. From my point of view, one is dealing with people who live purely in fantasy.

rehajm said...

Lenny. Never Miss An Opportunity for Revulsion.

Drago said...

Titus: "I am really excited Lena's new site will be doing lots of stories on cisgender-very exciting"

What? No science-y stories on the new site?

Why not? Titus assured us that Lena loves science! And putting rocks into pre-pubescent vaginas! (was that actually a science experiment, one wonders)

damikesc said...

Well, apparently you're qualified to work in the Obama administration.

I'm shocked Trump hasn't mentioned that yet.

"You can call the family of Michael Brown. Discuss Trayvon....but a woman is killed by your policies and you can't even utter a syllable?"

mikee said...

I used to be able to quickly determine a lot about my female college acquaintances by the presence or absence of Cosmo and Glamour in their dorm rooms.

Modern males have to determine if their fellow students have had the Dunham Experience.

God help them.

Katrina said...

I automatically deduct 15 IQ points from anybody who uses the term "cisgender."

It's the intellectual equivalent of wearing a baseball cap backwards.

SteveR said...

Well, apparently you're qualified to work in the Obama administration.

Except for the fact that I can recognize when I am the joke.

Chris N said...

Many years ago, coming inside wearing my ball cap, my better half gave me a look like I should take it off immediately.

Inspired, I turned it to the side and strutted around the room. A look of utter horror crossed her face.

Sure enough, I went to the mirror and gazing back was something resembling a full-on adult wigger man-baby.

If you thought shorts were bad, Althouse, have Meade do this for you after a few glasses of wine.

Gentleman, in just a few seconds, you may lose dignity you can never get back.