February 12, 2009

6-word love stories.

A good idea in the abstract, but in the specific, why are they all so horrifically bad?

I turn away in revulsion and formulate the hope that the people with real love are not playing this game.

32 comments:

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

It's Twiter haven

David said...

Good luck. Good Fuck. Bye Babe.

Curtiss said...

They're suitable for texting, I suppose.

I don't like texting at all.

It's like having my conversations transcribed.

Must everything be recorded? Like this?

Beyond all that, they are unromantic.

Six rants all in six words.

I guess I played the game.

Sofa King said...

Valentine's day script for unix engineers (these are all real system commands):

unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep

PWS said...

* Boy meets girl. Rest is history.

* Love in six; six too many.

* Frenemy bromance Obama Biden beats Busheney.

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said...

An adulterer has become joyously monogamous.

David said...

A monagatron has become joyously adulterous.

lohwoman said...

Their* sixty-third year starts tomorrow.

*my parents

reader_iam said...

I hadn't heard of the game, and I can't imagine my husband and my playing it. However, for fun, since you brought it up, and because it's the truth, here's my entry:

Glad I went to that bar.

[Note: Coincidentally (entirely) I tweeted the following about an hour ago:

Precisely 17 years, 1 hour and 24 minutes ago, I met my husband-to-be. Feb. 12 has overshadowed Valentine's Day, in my mind, ever since.

To me, the romance is in the remembering still, to the minute--all these years and challenges and joys and shit and etc. and all that jazz--the first time we laid eyes on each other.]

/sap (however sincere)

blake said...

How many of these would you necessarily see as "love stories" without knowing that in advance?

Like,

Blue eyes see into my soul.

Makes me think of Silence of the Lambs. I suppose there was a Hopkins/Foster love-story subtext there.

Or this:

Spooning, warm breath on my neck.

Which makes me think of the subway at rush hour.

Anonymous said...

I can't say it in only

Curtiss said...

...and challenges and joys and shit and etc. and all that jazz

I'm in total agreement with that.

Prosecutorial Indiscretion said...

Alas, love is for other people.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Never too late to find love

This is true and very profound.

Just when you think that all men/women/relationships are crap....suddenly that gem in the rough.. the flower among weeds.

Worked for me.

Three words

Revenant said...

Boink boink boink boink boink woo!

Oh wait, that's a six-word *porn* story. My bad.

Wince said...

Is this a play on the Freakonomics Six Word Motto for the United States Contest?

I actually won that one!

Let's see...oh, I've got it:

"Never having to say you're sorry."

Or is that seven words?

Phil said...

Well to be fair, it is pretty hard to compete with The Beatles.

"I Want To Hold Your Hand"

Nichevo said...

Ann, you know you want it.

rhhardin said...

If you trace the shortest path through the thesaurus from ``love'' to ``hate,'' you get miniature stories

love infatuation obsession phobia aversion hate
love desire covet begrudge resent dislike hate
love delight admiration awe dread aversion hate
love cherish bear endure brave defy despise hate
love caress dally_with tease banter deride despise hate
love lover enthusiast devil bugbear dread aversion hate


rather than the ``hot'' to ``cold'' gradation that you might expect a priori.

This is pretty common.

KCFleming said...

"Born—Bridalled—
Shrouded—
In a day"


Seeking Emily Dickinson, but get Janice.

Eric Hammerbacher said...

She said Eric, call me Al.

Darcy said...

Kissed him first; I liked it.

Tibore said...

"I came, I saw, I nailed"...?

8-|

Anonymous said...

With apologies to Bob Seger

Back room,alley,the trusty woods...

Nichevo said...

No, Tibore, it's:

I came, I saw, I overcame

dbp said...

Not mine, and the original is longer, but this is my favorite part:

Odi et amo. quare id faciam ?

From Inwood said...

Obama:

I won, I won, I won!

Joan said...

I admit I laughed at some of them: too true! Like this one: Fell in love. Fell out. Ouch.

Like reader_i_am, I still vividly recall the first time I met my husband. My entry would be:

Double dates do work out sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Smith magazine has this webpage where they solicit six-word whatevers all the time.

I think they started with their six-word memoirs (not quite what I was planning). It's a fun site - lots of nutty stuff but then you find these gems.

One of my six-word memoirs that I submitted was 'true story: bellbottoms broke my leg." Which is true. It's one of my favorite stories.

Anonymous said...

OH, wait, why did I type leg? I broke my arm that time.

Hilarious. I'm such a ditz.

Michael Haz said...

She loves me; I love her.

Dactyl said...

Althouse: blonde blog brings beaucoup buzz.